It's been a while. I'm still alive and kicking.

We are settling into our new area. The best thing about it is that while it's an "edge" city to Orlando, it has a country setting feel and with that comes a certain feeling of freedom. The freedom of not conforming to deed restricted communities or homeowners associations,,, I had forgotten what that feels like and I've missed it. I like the fact that the neighbors can park their fishing boats on their property and that I can wash my car for all the world to see.

It's been an excruciatingly rough past few weeks. I'm anxious to get my realtors license and I'm anxious to meet people in my area. It's a very lonely feeling to not know a soul where you live.

I took Gregory to the playground yesterday. It was his first time on playground equipment other than a swing. He had the time of his life. He played so hard for two straight hours and it was if he didn't want to miss out on a single moment of it. He'd spot a kid and would follow and do everything the kid did. It was definately a game of follow the leader for him. A little while into it, he'd spot another kid and off he went to follow that one. The playground was full of kids so it was quite a bit of stimulation for a boy who has really only had one on one time with other kids. He has absolutely NO fear of anything. He didnt think twice about the big slide as he sped down it squeeling with delight for all to hear and landing with the brightest of giggles. He'd then glance over to me with a smile so wide I thought my heart would burst from his momentary happiness with the world. He had me so nervous as he climbed up rungs or down rock-like steps. He was careful and amazingly coordinated for having never played on such equipment before. Every now and then I'd feel those pangs of guilt for having to keep his activity limited,,I mean heart wrenching guilt and feeling like I would do anything in this world for him to be able to do the things that make him happy. But then after playing hard for a while, I see the color of his face change and the panting and I wisk him off to the toddler swings to confine him for a while so he can catch his breath and recover and then I'm reminded of why I must be so careful with him. While it's such an awesome and rewarding thing to see him grow into the little person he is becoming, it's also so painful to watch my baby turn into a boy and become less dependant on me and venture off into the world to discover new people. Will others be as careful? I pray that the lord will always keep us in the company of compassionate people who Gregory might touch in a way that he will always be cared for in his life. Motherhood is such a consuming love that I struggle to describe but I'm sure every mother feels that wish and hope that their child never feel an ounce of pain.

I met a man in the park who I mistakenly took to be a grandparent of a little boy in the park. He was probably in his early 60's and disabled with a cane. I soon discovered that the five year old boy was his son. He didn't marry until he was in his 50's and he is a member of the parks commission. I got some great info about the community and found out that our city is only 10 years old which would explain why the parks and city buildings are so new yet the housing is abundant and quite old. The area had not been incorporated prior to the formation of the city. It was interesting information and I now have some ideas on where to start to get to know the community.